I left the cooking to Emily… Heh, what a louse!
I sat down to clean pipes with a feeling of dread,
unnerved by the sounds of strange footsteps o’erhead.
Two evenings with family, the gauntlet was thrown.
Would I have stayed in France, had I only known?
“Nah”, I thought, “I’m better off here.”
“Surrounded by casks of good winter beer!”
Christmas is fun, Christmas is shiny,
Christmas is even for those who are whiny.
Those who spend this time bitching and moaning.
can be easily replaced, with the help of good cloning.
So we’ll have our big dinners, and we’ll dance and we’ll sing,
even if Santa doesn’t bring us a thing!
Because at the end of the day, the thing that has meaning
is the warm family feeling…. and getting out of the cleaning!
So Merry Christmas to all! We hope for the best,
and please don’t get charged with resisting arrest.